This is the wedding video from the wedding of Samantha and Zach, which took place in a setting with Dunluce Castle as the backdrop. I am showing this video with their permission and courtesy of Pigmintfilm. It was a wonderful day, if cold and blowy, and this gives the flavour of this kind of wedding.
Each ToTheir Own
This is a wedding done by a civil Registrar. The couple are clearly keen to do things their way…. I would not be surprised if this is not on You Tube for very long, it is a very personal occasion and I think they are very brave to post it!
There are no prayers or blessings and no readings. The Registrar says words to remind the couple of the solemn promises they will make. The best man pretends he can’t find the ring but a beloved pet dog is coaxed up the aisle with it. Sweet…
Then the groom is asked if he will take Wendy as his wife….he says No….I take her as not just wife..but lover etc etc.
All goes well, rings are exchanged, and the congregation conga down the aisle.
I have no doubt the couple genuinely love each other and everyone had a good time.
It’s up on You Tube and it has more than a 1000 comments. Not everyone liked it. Its fascinating to read the responses!
I have some reservations… For me, the power of a simple yes, or an I do, is very clear. I’ve been the celebrant at quite a few weddings and the moment of saying yes or I do is one of those key moments in life.
Saying No when you mean yes, even as a kind of joke, I don’t really understand it. Sometimes, less is more.
But it is the couple’s wedding – they were happy. So are the couples I perform wedding ceremonies for. These are beautiful and have their humorous touches but not, so far, in the saying of the vows .
The groom “broke down” in tears, so it all clearly was a big deal for him. The you tube comments are a real mixture about this. Some people think we have lost all the “real” men. Some people, obviously speaking from harsh personal experience, say “wait a year and see what happens.” Some say that it is wonderful to see a man show his emotions.
In my experience, grooms cry more than brides. I think it’s fine for either the bride or the groom to cry….and you won’t know ahead of time what you will do. Have a packet of tissues just in case.
If you want to express your feelings in your own words there are ways to do that without diluting the power of the vows. You can write your own, a poem perhaps, find a reading that speaks to you . I’m happy to work with the couple to create a unique and personal ceremony. Even if I might gently question some of your ideas!